1. I marry a guy with long ear hair/ I start growing ear hair.
2. I am made to sleep on the floor of the sleeper class in Grand trunk express.
3. I die on my birthday.
4. My dad sees me reading mills and boons.
5. I am locked in a house and I have to eat idlis 365 days a year.
6. I kiss a lizard.
7. I am in a jail and I am wearing the same underwear for a year.
8. Someone shaves off my eyebrows.
9. I date a gay guy and kiss him.
10. I am drowning in water and my best friend is pulling me inside.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Random thoughts
The most annoying conversation at home begins when your mom starts building plans about your wedding, and the worst of all is when she tells you her thoughts about your bridegroom. So the other day my mom said " In another two years I want to be done with all my responsibilities." I thought to myself, wtf my mom would force me to love some random guy. It seemed disgusting when I thought of it in this manner. But it looked better when I thought of a wedding as the coming together of two families and the beginning of a new bond. I just told her " Amma,I am too immature to handle all this now." and simply walked away.
I do find myself immature or unconditional. What if I found the priest (Hindu priests don't wear shirts )hot and winked at him during my wedding. That would be most scandalous thing to happen at a wedding for sure. Or what if I found my real soul mate in another soul after my wedding? Why should it be scandalous if I was smitten by a guy at my office or at the bar or at some random place. It would be close to a crime if I dated another man after my wedding. Why should it be unfair? The universal truth about love is it that love isn't conditional. If love is conditional it isn't love at all.
A friend of mine told me "there is no love. All the world is driven by lust. There is only like and lust." And the real truth is that we all are driven by lust. Why do we love dogs? It is only because dogs give us the attention that we want and a sense of happiness. If pets weren't submissive and didn't make us happy we would mercilessly get rid of them. So we actually don't love dogs. They love us. We love them only because they love us. This relationship can never be vice versa. We search for companions to makes our lives happy. For our satisfaction. Relationships become sour when there is an overdose of lust. When you no longer feel good, or when you are treated badly.
The love which makes us feel good isn't love at all. If you are hurt by someone saying or doing something you dint like, then what you have for the other person is not love. But when you see beyond the person's hurting words and actions you begin realising love. The moment affection becomes conditional, and changes with time, there is only lust. But is lust a bad thing? If I gave a beggar 100 rupees to make both of us feel happy. His happiness made me happy. The ugly truth is that there is an element of lust in it. But still it makes both of us happy. Lust keeps us going and happy.
When one finds the universal truth about love, you would feel a sense of freedom or thats what I can call enlightenment. You feel unconditional and light. There is a very thin line of difference between love and lust. Lust makes you feel you are happy. Love makes you really happy.
I do find myself immature or unconditional. What if I found the priest (Hindu priests don't wear shirts )hot and winked at him during my wedding. That would be most scandalous thing to happen at a wedding for sure. Or what if I found my real soul mate in another soul after my wedding? Why should it be scandalous if I was smitten by a guy at my office or at the bar or at some random place. It would be close to a crime if I dated another man after my wedding. Why should it be unfair? The universal truth about love is it that love isn't conditional. If love is conditional it isn't love at all.
A friend of mine told me "there is no love. All the world is driven by lust. There is only like and lust." And the real truth is that we all are driven by lust. Why do we love dogs? It is only because dogs give us the attention that we want and a sense of happiness. If pets weren't submissive and didn't make us happy we would mercilessly get rid of them. So we actually don't love dogs. They love us. We love them only because they love us. This relationship can never be vice versa. We search for companions to makes our lives happy. For our satisfaction. Relationships become sour when there is an overdose of lust. When you no longer feel good, or when you are treated badly.
The love which makes us feel good isn't love at all. If you are hurt by someone saying or doing something you dint like, then what you have for the other person is not love. But when you see beyond the person's hurting words and actions you begin realising love. The moment affection becomes conditional, and changes with time, there is only lust. But is lust a bad thing? If I gave a beggar 100 rupees to make both of us feel happy. His happiness made me happy. The ugly truth is that there is an element of lust in it. But still it makes both of us happy. Lust keeps us going and happy.
When one finds the universal truth about love, you would feel a sense of freedom or thats what I can call enlightenment. You feel unconditional and light. There is a very thin line of difference between love and lust. Lust makes you feel you are happy. Love makes you really happy.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Beauty tips from the eyes of the beholder
A friend of mine has an opinion. This person is too lazy to start a blog of his own. I am not gonna say who this person is. But he has something interesting to say. The thing I liked about his writing was that he was honest and wrote what he felt. Some might find it offensive but everyone has a right to express their thoughts. So here's what he has to say
"Sometimes I hate god for snorting a line every time when he has to go and make a girl, which is one of the lamest excuses he gives to find beauty in every woman and that too for different reasons in different areas in different proportions. A respectable & perverted start to say something nice about women when i have to tell some bitter truth about few women which bothers every guy who appreciates and respects women for their beauty(inner soul,outer body & *winks*).
I still remember the day when I stepped into the land with beautiful beaches with a hope of clearing the cob webs in my heart (my heart is situated in a different place*winks again*) which was intact for 18 yrs and unfortunately it is still intact..I am just another man who wants to love a lady with ful2 passion and love.Only those who have been marked by good luck have been telling me that love is all about inner beauty which gives intense pleasure, satisfaction and blah blah, but the truth is that every human being gets attracted to beauty which pleases his vision and likes to dream of something beautiful.
Majority of the Indian minds are designed in such a way that they find women attractive only if she has a fair complexion!.Unlike other cities in India, Chennai has fabulous girls in all flavors & ice creams in all shapes and sizes having dark, dusky and fair(they are called ‘semma figures’) complexion. They have the perfect raw materials in the factory but marketing and advertisement is very poor. Now I am going to think of some examples and comparisons which would add more value to the philosophy. Ladies in Chennai=Car then, the engine is completely perfect but the looks are not maintained due to lack of servicing and tinkering work. Its like sitting in a luxurious car which has not been to car wash center for a really long time. Ladies in Chennai=food, then lets talk about Italian restaurants which serve boiled potatoes with chopped parsley not just to make it tastier but also to make it look beautiful which attracts the customer and eventually the customer falls for the beauty.
My examples do suck but if my motive is understood it will enlighten many lives(especially beauty lovers). Sometimes I see women who are hairier than me. That definitely doesn't mean that that they are ugly but "ignorance eventually leads to product failure". It is completely displeasing in appearance and all it can do is to attract some lice. But they can definitely attract some men if they take care of themselves and try to be themselves rather than trying to be someone else who is born attractive. Everyone cant be supremely favored by the gods to be blessed with a pleasing enough face to please every1 and hot enough physical mass to impress the mass but every lady in the town is glorified with a unique beauty. One girl wore a mini skirt just because it looks hot on her best friend and that made her look uglier than her recently married sister who doesn't have an incentive to look better now. She should stick to that traditional Saree which is hotter than any other outfit in this whole world. The roadside pani puri tastes really good but how many people really know about it. The marketing strategy plays an important role in selling any product. The roadside vendor couldn't impress Mr and Mrs.D.K.BOSE because BOSE D.K believes in restaurants who serve in plates.
My paragraph with all the cheap & ridiculous examples is not to hurt people bearing two X chromosomes. My motive is to just let them know that they are wasting their beauty and grace by not showcasing it in a proper way. Under- utilization is Underrated. In Chennai, beauty parlors are cheap and they have special offers so my friend took my advice, and she looks hotter now. ME is attracted to her now & she still thinks that ME is impressed by her sense of humor. They have it in them and they have to open those rich materials, Unleash the fury and show the wild side as soon as possible.
ME sounds so desperate for richness and enhanced version of woman's beauty. Ladies don't neglect your life by not looking gorgeous coz my grandpa said practice makes the man perfect and beauty makes the woman beautiful. He drinks very often. ME is definitely not a very handsome person to talk about beauty, shapes & sizes but that doesn't stop me from giving you the social message & the conclusion! Some stoned babas in Himalayas and few scientists believe that this world is coming to an end by 2012, and I am afraid. They already made a movie also.So Please look like an angel before that happens cos every girl has an angel within her(What a punch dialogue sirji?). Lets make this world a heavenly place and I want to be perplexed to chose the best. Pakaaoed by ME"
"Sometimes I hate god for snorting a line every time when he has to go and make a girl, which is one of the lamest excuses he gives to find beauty in every woman and that too for different reasons in different areas in different proportions. A respectable & perverted start to say something nice about women when i have to tell some bitter truth about few women which bothers every guy who appreciates and respects women for their beauty(inner soul,outer body & *winks*).
I still remember the day when I stepped into the land with beautiful beaches with a hope of clearing the cob webs in my heart (my heart is situated in a different place*winks again*) which was intact for 18 yrs and unfortunately it is still intact..I am just another man who wants to love a lady with ful2 passion and love.Only those who have been marked by good luck have been telling me that love is all about inner beauty which gives intense pleasure, satisfaction and blah blah, but the truth is that every human being gets attracted to beauty which pleases his vision and likes to dream of something beautiful.
Majority of the Indian minds are designed in such a way that they find women attractive only if she has a fair complexion!.Unlike other cities in India, Chennai has fabulous girls in all flavors & ice creams in all shapes and sizes having dark, dusky and fair(they are called ‘semma figures’) complexion. They have the perfect raw materials in the factory but marketing and advertisement is very poor. Now I am going to think of some examples and comparisons which would add more value to the philosophy. Ladies in Chennai=Car then, the engine is completely perfect but the looks are not maintained due to lack of servicing and tinkering work. Its like sitting in a luxurious car which has not been to car wash center for a really long time. Ladies in Chennai=food, then lets talk about Italian restaurants which serve boiled potatoes with chopped parsley not just to make it tastier but also to make it look beautiful which attracts the customer and eventually the customer falls for the beauty.
My examples do suck but if my motive is understood it will enlighten many lives(especially beauty lovers). Sometimes I see women who are hairier than me. That definitely doesn't mean that that they are ugly but "ignorance eventually leads to product failure". It is completely displeasing in appearance and all it can do is to attract some lice. But they can definitely attract some men if they take care of themselves and try to be themselves rather than trying to be someone else who is born attractive. Everyone cant be supremely favored by the gods to be blessed with a pleasing enough face to please every1 and hot enough physical mass to impress the mass but every lady in the town is glorified with a unique beauty. One girl wore a mini skirt just because it looks hot on her best friend and that made her look uglier than her recently married sister who doesn't have an incentive to look better now. She should stick to that traditional Saree which is hotter than any other outfit in this whole world. The roadside pani puri tastes really good but how many people really know about it. The marketing strategy plays an important role in selling any product. The roadside vendor couldn't impress Mr and Mrs.D.K.BOSE because BOSE D.K believes in restaurants who serve in plates.
My paragraph with all the cheap & ridiculous examples is not to hurt people bearing two X chromosomes. My motive is to just let them know that they are wasting their beauty and grace by not showcasing it in a proper way. Under- utilization is Underrated. In Chennai, beauty parlors are cheap and they have special offers so my friend took my advice, and she looks hotter now. ME is attracted to her now & she still thinks that ME is impressed by her sense of humor. They have it in them and they have to open those rich materials, Unleash the fury and show the wild side as soon as possible.
ME sounds so desperate for richness and enhanced version of woman's beauty. Ladies don't neglect your life by not looking gorgeous coz my grandpa said practice makes the man perfect and beauty makes the woman beautiful. He drinks very often. ME is definitely not a very handsome person to talk about beauty, shapes & sizes but that doesn't stop me from giving you the social message & the conclusion! Some stoned babas in Himalayas and few scientists believe that this world is coming to an end by 2012, and I am afraid. They already made a movie also.So Please look like an angel before that happens cos every girl has an angel within her(What a punch dialogue sirji?). Lets make this world a heavenly place and I want to be perplexed to chose the best. Pakaaoed by ME"
Monday, February 08, 2010
The Smell Check
Most of us get nostalgic with smell. The way poets and romanticists describe the smell of earth with the first drizzle kissing it is quite cliched. It is this sense that we are most conscious of and first react to. While you pass by a garbage truck you instantaneously tend to close your nose. When you have a bad stomach and tend be on a gaseous high, you are conscious about the fact that someone would spot you spoiling the atmosphere. And some people when they pass air in company wickedly pass the blame onto others.
Just like animals respond to pheromones, we too are a victim of our nose. We unconsciously hate farters. We unconsciously drown in perfume before a date. More than looks it is smell that's a huge turn on. Its a matter of prestige too.Suppose your dream partner came before you, and you discover that he or she smelt like unwashed socks, I am sure your dreams would change. According to a recent survey, most men and women rated body odour as the biggest turn off they found in their partner. It is the sense of smell that makes the food we eat appetizing. If a rotten egg smelt like a rose, we wouldn't be hating rotten eggs. Instead we'd have rotten egg perfumes and soaps. Spa's would make u bathe in rotten egg. Now let me come to the point here.The sense of smell plays a very important role in our lives. More than the sense of touch, or hearing we pay a lot of attention to the sense of smell. At least I do.
It is because of my hyper-sensitized nose, I find it terribly difficult to travel by the local MTC buses. When I was a child, I remember getting squeezed under stinky arm pits and storms of sweat.(It is more disgusting to be in such situations than to read it. So stop getting disgusted now.)I wished the government would install air fresheners in buses instead of radios and boards with some random job advertisement. So thereafter, I decided to take share autos, which is the next best and inexpensive alternative to the buses. The good and bad thing about share autos is you always, get a seat but many times you get a seat next to human skunks. Thank god their arms were down and I wouldn't have to face the hideous experience again. But there was this particular day, I don't recall which day it was, but a sexy guy got into the share auto. When I say sexy, he was tall, wheatish, had the perfect nose, cute black eyes,and silky hair. He wore a swatch on his right wrist. He wore Ray ban sunglasses and look little bit like Shahid Kapoor. I am sure if he had a six pack or something close, he could easily qualify as the hottest model and walk the ramp on on Lakme fashion week. He looked drop dead handsome. It was love at first sight. The moment he entered the share auto and sat next to me I was flattered.
The good thing about share autos is when cute guys get in you can sit close to them. There is a good excuse, always the space is too less.The moment this guy got into the share auto, the air was filled with an aroma. It wasn't the usual Axe effect that filled the air. This fragrance was soothing and gentle.I thought to myself " No wait this was a familiar smell. Shit it was damn familiar." I tried recalling what it was. Oh Boy!! Sitting next me was a hot guy, who smelt great. More than a good enough reason to dream. He got off at a stop before mine. The aroma still filled the air. I tried hard racking my brains. The aroma was way too familiar. Then it struck me. Damn!! It was Davidoff strawberry perfume. The hot guy ..oops the hot gay next to me used a woman's perfume. Damn!!! And I was all happy to be sitting next to him. I just wished my brain had recalled the smell a bit faster.
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