Random thoughts

The most annoying conversation at home begins when your mom starts building plans about your wedding, and the worst of all is when she tells you her thoughts about your bridegroom. So the other day my mom said " In another two years I want to be done with all my responsibilities." I thought to myself, wtf my mom would force me to love some random guy. It seemed disgusting when I thought of it in this manner. But it looked better when I thought of a wedding as the coming together of two families and the beginning of a new bond. I just told her " Amma,I am too immature to handle all this now." and simply walked away.

I do find myself immature or unconditional. What if I found the priest (Hindu priests don't wear shirts )hot and winked at him during my wedding. That would be most scandalous thing to happen at a wedding for sure. Or what if I found my real soul mate in another soul after my wedding? Why should it be scandalous if I was smitten by a guy at my office or at the bar or at some random place. It would be close to a crime if I dated another man after my wedding. Why should it be unfair? The universal truth about love is it that love isn't conditional. If love is conditional it isn't love at all.

A friend of mine told me "there is no love. All the world is driven by lust. There is only like and lust." And the real truth is that we all are driven by lust. Why do we love dogs? It is only because dogs give us the attention that we want and a sense of happiness. If pets weren't submissive and didn't make us happy we would mercilessly get rid of them. So we actually don't love dogs. They love us. We love them only because they love us. This relationship can never be vice versa. We search for companions to makes our lives happy. For our satisfaction. Relationships become sour when there is an overdose of lust. When you no longer feel good, or when you are treated badly.

The love which makes us feel good isn't love at all. If you are hurt by someone saying or doing something you dint like, then what you have for the other person is not love. But when you see beyond the person's hurting words and actions you begin realising love. The moment affection becomes conditional, and changes with time, there is only lust. But is lust a bad thing? If I gave a beggar 100 rupees to make both of us feel happy. His happiness made me happy. The ugly truth is that there is an element of lust in it. But still it makes both of us happy. Lust keeps us going and happy.

When one finds the universal truth about love, you would feel a sense of freedom or thats what I can call enlightenment. You feel unconditional and light. There is a very thin line of difference between love and lust. Lust makes you feel you are happy. Love makes you really happy.