I don't want to be accountable
For the air I breathe,
Or for the food I eat.
I don't want to be accountable
For a smile or a tear,
I don't want to kiss and then fear.
I don't want to be accountable
for being happy or sad,
or shouting for when I am mad.
I don't want to be accountable
To friends, to family
Or even to the God I never see.
I just want to be accountable
to my conscience, something I never feel.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Dear Mr Director
To
The Director,
IIM A,B,C,D,E,F,G I,K,L,S
INDIA.
From:
Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri
Rural ( You don't care about villages do u?)
INDIA.
Dear Sir,
Sub: Selection criteria in IIM's.
I am a post master in Charuki Gaon near Maya Pradesh. I chose this profession as it gives me great happiness and satisfaction. I deliver good news and important news to people. I am a good will messenger in my own way. My aim is to develop a huge platform that will help me deliver good messages to all my co villagers and help them communicate with the world. I want to teach them about e-mail, facebook and other modes of communication about which, I have read a lot in the news papers. In this way they can communicate to their kith and kin easily and this would make them happy. I am an MBA aspirant and I aspire to get into the most reputed MBA college in the country which is IIM-Ahmedabad (IIM-A). I prepared for 4 years for the common admission test (CAT). In my first attempt I got a score of 23.4 percentile. In my second it was 46.4 and in the 3rd attempt it was 64.
I realised this was not enough for securing a seat in the most prestigious management institution in the country. So I went to the nearby town and underwent coaching there. I also started improvising on my language skills. I also learned to use the computer with the keyboard and mouse. I learned to use the laptop without the mouse too. First my eyes used to hurt as I was not used to reading on a light filled screen. It was like watching a movie introduction screen for a long time. Soon I got used to it. I learned to move from one page to another using the scroll button . Sometimes the page used to scroll fast even though i never made it move. The computer is a crazy machine. But I finally began understanding the way it functions. With a lot of effort I secured 99.34 percentile in CAT this year. To my surprise I was in the top one percent and it made me feel very happy. My whole village was astonished. My name and photograph came in MAYA Times. This was a proud moment in my life.
But sir, I have not got a call from the top three institutions (A,B or C). I wondered why I didn't get a call despite having good sectional cut offs, Quantitative (QA)-99.8, Verbal (VA)-99.1, Data Interpretation (DI)- 99.7. Then I saw the criteria for the selection process. My class 10 and 12 marks were also taken into consideration. I got 56 percent in class 10 and 63 in class 12. In class 10, I was barely 15 years old. I used to be more interested in playing Kabbadi with my friends. I was a kabbadi champion and often won every tournament organized in Charuki gaon. I wanted to become a professional kabbadi player. It was my only intention. That time I never knew anything about facebook or computers and never had any dreams for my village. I often spent my time by playing in the swimming pool, stealing chikoos from the farm, and watching rare birds that migrated to our village. One month before my board exams, my father came and told me that if I didn't pass the board exams my life would be ruined and I could never dream of becoming a renowned kabbadi player. I began studying and
I managed to score 56 percent. I never realised it was a low mark because I was the second highest scorer in my school. My mother made kheer and distributed it to the entire village, since no one in our family had ever scored so much. There was an incident in class 11, where I broke my knee which resulted in the replacement of my ball and socket joint. Since then, I have never been able to play kabbadi.
I took biology in class 12 because a girl I liked a lot, Kavitha also opted for the same group. Even tough I hated biology, sitting for two entire years without seeing Kavitha was unimaginable. I hated biology and we had to go to the nearby village for biology classes, since our village never had a biology teacher. I hated drawing ameobas or any cells. I somehow managed to pass with decent marks in biology. My focus shifted from Kabaddi to Kavitha. But Kavitha got married and left our village forever. I was shattered and heart broken. I didn't eat or sleep for 2 weeks. I didn't want to commit suicide but I wanted to forget Kavitha. That day I also decided that I would start a forum to help those who have been ditched/ dumped or feel broken in relationships. That time I wanted to feel better but no one helped me overcome the awful pain that I faced within myself. I studied B.A Hindi in college and eventually landed up as a post master.
Sir I have a dream and I worked towards it for four entire years. Despite being in the top 1 percentile,was I denied a seat in the most prestigious management institution, because I spent my teenage playing kabbadi and not planning my future? Was I denied a seat because I liked a girl named kavitha got a 63 percent in class 12 and eventually ended up as a post master in charuki? So does this mean that every management aspirant should start planning his future right from the age of 12 and not play while he is 15 as he has board exams, and not have a crush on the opposite sex?
I would be very happy if you could reply to my above mentioned queries.
Yours respectfully,
Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri
The Director,
IIM A,B,C,
INDIA.
From:
Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri
Rural ( You don't care about villages do u?)
INDIA.
Dear Sir,
Sub: Selection criteria in IIM's.
I am a post master in Charuki Gaon near Maya Pradesh. I chose this profession as it gives me great happiness and satisfaction. I deliver good news and important news to people. I am a good will messenger in my own way. My aim is to develop a huge platform that will help me deliver good messages to all my co villagers and help them communicate with the world. I want to teach them about e-mail, facebook and other modes of communication about which, I have read a lot in the news papers. In this way they can communicate to their kith and kin easily and this would make them happy. I am an MBA aspirant and I aspire to get into the most reputed MBA college in the country which is IIM-Ahmedabad (IIM-A). I prepared for 4 years for the common admission test (CAT). In my first attempt I got a score of 23.4 percentile. In my second it was 46.4 and in the 3rd attempt it was 64.
I realised this was not enough for securing a seat in the most prestigious management institution in the country. So I went to the nearby town and underwent coaching there. I also started improvising on my language skills. I also learned to use the computer with the keyboard and mouse. I learned to use the laptop without the mouse too. First my eyes used to hurt as I was not used to reading on a light filled screen. It was like watching a movie introduction screen for a long time. Soon I got used to it. I learned to move from one page to another using the scroll button . Sometimes the page used to scroll fast even though i never made it move. The computer is a crazy machine. But I finally began understanding the way it functions. With a lot of effort I secured 99.34 percentile in CAT this year. To my surprise I was in the top one percent and it made me feel very happy. My whole village was astonished. My name and photograph came in MAYA Times. This was a proud moment in my life.
But sir, I have not got a call from the top three institutions (A,B or C). I wondered why I didn't get a call despite having good sectional cut offs, Quantitative (QA)-99.8, Verbal (VA)-99.1, Data Interpretation (DI)- 99.7. Then I saw the criteria for the selection process. My class 10 and 12 marks were also taken into consideration. I got 56 percent in class 10 and 63 in class 12. In class 10, I was barely 15 years old. I used to be more interested in playing Kabbadi with my friends. I was a kabbadi champion and often won every tournament organized in Charuki gaon. I wanted to become a professional kabbadi player. It was my only intention. That time I never knew anything about facebook or computers and never had any dreams for my village. I often spent my time by playing in the swimming pool, stealing chikoos from the farm, and watching rare birds that migrated to our village. One month before my board exams, my father came and told me that if I didn't pass the board exams my life would be ruined and I could never dream of becoming a renowned kabbadi player. I began studying and
I managed to score 56 percent. I never realised it was a low mark because I was the second highest scorer in my school. My mother made kheer and distributed it to the entire village, since no one in our family had ever scored so much. There was an incident in class 11, where I broke my knee which resulted in the replacement of my ball and socket joint. Since then, I have never been able to play kabbadi.
I took biology in class 12 because a girl I liked a lot, Kavitha also opted for the same group. Even tough I hated biology, sitting for two entire years without seeing Kavitha was unimaginable. I hated biology and we had to go to the nearby village for biology classes, since our village never had a biology teacher. I hated drawing ameobas or any cells. I somehow managed to pass with decent marks in biology. My focus shifted from Kabaddi to Kavitha. But Kavitha got married and left our village forever. I was shattered and heart broken. I didn't eat or sleep for 2 weeks. I didn't want to commit suicide but I wanted to forget Kavitha. That day I also decided that I would start a forum to help those who have been ditched/ dumped or feel broken in relationships. That time I wanted to feel better but no one helped me overcome the awful pain that I faced within myself. I studied B.A Hindi in college and eventually landed up as a post master.
Sir I have a dream and I worked towards it for four entire years. Despite being in the top 1 percentile,was I denied a seat in the most prestigious management institution, because I spent my teenage playing kabbadi and not planning my future? Was I denied a seat because I liked a girl named kavitha got a 63 percent in class 12 and eventually ended up as a post master in charuki? So does this mean that every management aspirant should start planning his future right from the age of 12 and not play while he is 15 as he has board exams, and not have a crush on the opposite sex?
I would be very happy if you could reply to my above mentioned queries.
Yours respectfully,
Gangadhar Vidyadhar Mayadhar Omkarnath Shastri
The tables have turned
We've heard enough women crib about the demands made on matrimonial sites. Every man wants a fair/tall/slim/homely/well educated/ well mannered/long haired/should know to cook/religious girl. Some make a few extra demands like she should be open minded, vegetarian/non vegetarian, have logical thinking, tech savy etc. In addition, if the woman earned well then she'd be the perfect trophy wife. To the young bridegroom and his mother these were not demands, but the prerequisites for a woman to be a good daughter-in-law and wife. The parents of dark fat girls made sure they'd pack them off with enough dowry to compensate on the tall and slim factor.
Before the wedding, every girl made sure she gymmed hard enough, so that her collar bone would show up and applied enough Benozyl peroxide all over her body to resemble the snow white her future husband was dreaming of. In some cases the girl also pierced her nose, a symbolic act in Hindu culture which ensures that the husband lives a long life. The girls never had any demands. The only demand their parents had was that the groom should be well educated and must have a good earning. Although this was a demand they often had to compensate for it in turn, by organizing a lavish wedding/ dowry/ adorning their daughter with jewels. In most cases all of the above mentioned was done.
Today, many women earn if not more, equal to their husbands. They are ready to satisfy the demands of tall/slim/fair. They too have demands. A colleague of mine, who is a tall slim, fair skinned, good looking and well earning woman is a prospective bride. She has the following demands from her man. I wish shaadi.com would help me list at least a few of these on their site.
So here are few of her demands:
1. The guy should be a lefty, so that his brain works right.
2. He must read, write, and speak 2 foreign languages fluently.
3. He must play at least 2 sports (one indoor game and one out door game). Preferably he should a national champion in at least one.
4. He should have silky hair.
5. He must have well aligned white teeth.
6. He should be 6 feet tall. 5ft 11'' is adjustable.
7. He should know to cook.
8. He must play the guitar.
9. No big belly. A six pack would be good. An 8 pack would be great.
10. He shouldn't wear VIP, Rupa or Tantex undewear. ( Cummon we spend so much on lingere. Cant they afford atleast jockey)
The tables have turned, here comes the era of the bride.
Before the wedding, every girl made sure she gymmed hard enough, so that her collar bone would show up and applied enough Benozyl peroxide all over her body to resemble the snow white her future husband was dreaming of. In some cases the girl also pierced her nose, a symbolic act in Hindu culture which ensures that the husband lives a long life. The girls never had any demands. The only demand their parents had was that the groom should be well educated and must have a good earning. Although this was a demand they often had to compensate for it in turn, by organizing a lavish wedding/ dowry/ adorning their daughter with jewels. In most cases all of the above mentioned was done.
Today, many women earn if not more, equal to their husbands. They are ready to satisfy the demands of tall/slim/fair. They too have demands. A colleague of mine, who is a tall slim, fair skinned, good looking and well earning woman is a prospective bride. She has the following demands from her man. I wish shaadi.com would help me list at least a few of these on their site.
So here are few of her demands:
1. The guy should be a lefty, so that his brain works right.
2. He must read, write, and speak 2 foreign languages fluently.
3. He must play at least 2 sports (one indoor game and one out door game). Preferably he should a national champion in at least one.
4. He should have silky hair.
5. He must have well aligned white teeth.
6. He should be 6 feet tall. 5ft 11'' is adjustable.
7. He should know to cook.
8. He must play the guitar.
9. No big belly. A six pack would be good. An 8 pack would be great.
10. He shouldn't wear VIP, Rupa or Tantex undewear. ( Cummon we spend so much on lingere. Cant they afford atleast jockey)
The tables have turned, here comes the era of the bride.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
The right time to get get high!
Not often does your mind and heart speak different things. The point at which, there is a conflict of the heart and the mind, it is quite a depressing and frustrating phase of one's life. This is the point where you are lying to thyself about thyself and that feeling is quite miserable. Let me explain to you an incident that happened to me quite recently. It was during an interview with quite a well established firm.
Interviewer: So, Why did you take up computer science as your undergrad?
Mind: I was good at computer in class 10 and it propelled me to take it up in class 11 and 12. Thereafter computer science was quite an obvious choice.
Heart: It was destiny.Damn it!
Interviewer: What did you like most about engineering?
Mind: Ahem the very fact the it makes you think and face challenges.
Heart: I hated every bit of it. It made me a retard. The only thing I liked was my 1st year workshop lab prof. He was HOT!!!
Interviewer: So What all did you learn during the course of your engineering?
Mind: Well I learnt C, c++, some shell scripting blahhhhhhh.
Heart: I learned to be a dickhead. I learnt that mean bitches get good grades and I never got good grades because I was never a mean bitch.I learned to face arrears and failures with a smile. I learned that when adversity strikes you must strike back adversely. I learned to break up with the same asshole twice. I learned to become a better person. I bet you don't have someone like me in your god damn company and I bet you wont give me the job for these skills that you never have and you'll never acquire.
(Heart and mind to one another)
Heart: You are such a coward. Damn you!!
Mind: You are so stuck up. It high time you get high!
Interviewer: So, Why did you take up computer science as your undergrad?
Mind: I was good at computer in class 10 and it propelled me to take it up in class 11 and 12. Thereafter computer science was quite an obvious choice.
Heart: It was destiny.Damn it!
Interviewer: What did you like most about engineering?
Mind: Ahem the very fact the it makes you think and face challenges.
Heart: I hated every bit of it. It made me a retard. The only thing I liked was my 1st year workshop lab prof. He was HOT!!!
Interviewer: So What all did you learn during the course of your engineering?
Mind: Well I learnt C, c++, some shell scripting blahhhhhhh.
Heart: I learned to be a dickhead. I learnt that mean bitches get good grades and I never got good grades because I was never a mean bitch.I learned to face arrears and failures with a smile. I learned that when adversity strikes you must strike back adversely. I learned to break up with the same asshole twice. I learned to become a better person. I bet you don't have someone like me in your god damn company and I bet you wont give me the job for these skills that you never have and you'll never acquire.
(Heart and mind to one another)
Heart: You are such a coward. Damn you!!
Mind: You are so stuck up. It high time you get high!
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
On the path of exploration
All of us want only three things in our lives. The three s'es if I could call them. It's success, satisfaction and salvation. We want them at various stages in life, but we often believe to want all of the above mentioned. Right now I want success. When i am a mother I would want satisfaction and if I become a grandmother I would try finding salvation.
Success is something all of us want. It is neither subjective nor objective. It cannot be measured or quantified. The moment you achieve success you want more. The more you achieve success, the more you want it. At this point in life in life you don't want to be satisfied. Success is addictive. Its something you keep wanting until a point where you decide that you have done enough and call it quits.If you are chasing money, there comes a point where you get fed up and just want to stop and discover happiness with what you have. At this stage all you want is satisfaction, the thing you never wanted before.
Satisfaction is the stage where you are not chasing anything. Satisfaction is the stage where you are completely happy with yourself.After you are successfully satisfied, you want to explore salvation. Salvation is quite a complex thing. But it is something we all want to explore. To the liberated souls, success and satisfaction don't mean anything. To be relieved of the feeling of want is salvation.
Life's a bitch. None of us know what we want.We want salvation, which is about giving up wants. While chasing success, we want satisfaction. What I want today is something that I don't want tomorrow. I just discovered that I am not the only confused soul.
Success is something all of us want. It is neither subjective nor objective. It cannot be measured or quantified. The moment you achieve success you want more. The more you achieve success, the more you want it. At this point in life in life you don't want to be satisfied. Success is addictive. Its something you keep wanting until a point where you decide that you have done enough and call it quits.If you are chasing money, there comes a point where you get fed up and just want to stop and discover happiness with what you have. At this stage all you want is satisfaction, the thing you never wanted before.
Satisfaction is the stage where you are not chasing anything. Satisfaction is the stage where you are completely happy with yourself.After you are successfully satisfied, you want to explore salvation. Salvation is quite a complex thing. But it is something we all want to explore. To the liberated souls, success and satisfaction don't mean anything. To be relieved of the feeling of want is salvation.
Life's a bitch. None of us know what we want.We want salvation, which is about giving up wants. While chasing success, we want satisfaction. What I want today is something that I don't want tomorrow. I just discovered that I am not the only confused soul.
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