Fiction's rendezvous with reality

Accusations. All of us are accused of something or the other everyday. We are accused of being lame, lazy, stupid, slow (in all aspects),for the way we walk, talk, sit, stand, eat, sleep, dress up, for using a deo, for not using a deo, and so on and so forth.

I was accused of being a shame to the entire lineage of Tam Brahms owing to my perenial display of slowness with numbers. I remember before each math exam right from class 6,I would suffer from severe attacks of Arithmophobia. A condition where your mind goes blank when you're asked to add three 4-digits mentally. Yes I was mathematically challenged, but my parents thought I suffered from ADS (Attention deficit Syndrome) and needed several doses of the drug Ritalin. My father's usual remarks after seeing the 61 or 62 or 63 on my paper would be "You don't apply yourself enough."

My mother was too concerend about my mathematical instablity that she got me enrolled for a course to relax my mind and twist my body. They called it the 'Art of Living'. She did have a scientific theory behind it. She said, my brain didn't need Ritalin but just sufficient oxygen. But no amount of oxygen brought life to the dying neurons that stored the multiplication tables. They had lost the hope of living and decided to be comatose forever.

Now coming to the point, most of what I write on this blog is inspired from incidents that happen in real life and if my stories resemble what happens in your life, then I must say its purely coincidental. Many parts of my stories have happened in real life, and the rest I've made it up just to make the story readable. But what if something that is made up becomes reality?

Nikhil Subramanian, was a random name that I gave for the ex-man of my dreams. The other day, while I was whiling away my time on Face Book, I saw friend suggestions "Nikhil Subramanian". We had 21 mutual friends and the guy was absolutely HOTT. Shucks, did destiny play evil tricks? In " Those were the days" I had mentioned that my parents had read my blog on pleasing and were shocked. Actually, they happened to read the post "Those were the days" and here is the conversation that unfolded. Most of the time the conversation was onesided with only my dad speaking and my mind speaking words which he could never hear.

Appa: Now I saw what stupid things you have written on that blog of yours.

Me: What are you talking about?

Appa: How can you write something so stupid and use all unparlimentary language and give a verbal description for it? We have not brought you up this way at all.

Me: (As usual I wanted to excape the situation) I didn't write anything. I was just reading it.

Appa: What do you mean. I know for sure you wrote it. How can you use the forbidden four letter word? How can you? Do you even realise the implications of what you have done? When I saw it I was shocked. I couldn't believe what I was reading. ANd now you are lying to me about it.

Me: (Face looking down at my feet): Silent.
Mind:Ok now what's the big deal. Everyone uses it.

Appa: I wonder what you do on the computer all night. I never did such things when I was your age.

Me: Silence.

Appa: Are you writing some kind of Pornographic Novel?

Me: Shucks no way!! Are you crazy?

Appa: Don't use that word in front of me. You are getting out of your limits I tell you.

Me: I didn't use the f-word I said shucks.

Appa: Don't you dare say that.

Mind: What an accusation. No kid on the face of this planet would have been accused of such a thing ever. Appa Pronography can be either totally disgusting or atleast titilating. My blog is neither disgusting nor titilating. And using the swear word is not a big deal. And by the way you were the first person to implant wild thoughts in my innocent brain, when you took the entire family for the movie TITANIC. I was in class 5 then. You said it was a must watch and dragged the entire family- amma, paati and her bandwagon of sisters. And when they saw Kate Winslet undress you were cool enough to say " Stop complaining and Look at the bigger picture."

Appa: Just because you've been given a lot of freedom don't misuse it.

Me: Silence again.
Mind: Freedom? I must be home before 9 P.M sharp. You eavesdrop on the conversations I have with male colleagues and enquire about their last names just to make sure it ends with 'an'. Chandrashekar'an', Ramakrishn'an', Nataraj'an', Narasimh'an', Jagannath'an',Muralidhar'an'......... and the only exceptions being parthasarathy and a few other surnames. Even the otherday when Jaswinder called me, you were so inquisitive about what I was speaking with her until I told you she was female.

Appa: Read Leo Tolstoy, Read Charles Dickens. Look at the sensitivity with which they write. I spent my time reading such books when I was like you. I wonder what you read and it is reflecting in your writing. This is the last time I wanna discuss this with you. Do you even understand the implications it would have if someone from our family reads it? Delete it right away. I dont want to see you writing such stupid things again.

Me: Silence.
Mind: First go become anonymous on the blog. This is getting tough to handle. And heck no, I am no way deleting my blog. It means so much to me.

I shall write about how much my blog means to me in another post. Just as I remove my name and other details about myself from the blog, I see a comment pop up. I always get excited to see the first comment of every post. The person who commented was Venki and he said brilliant. Venki is my father's nick name. Does he have a deep dark side, I wonder.