Cheers!

I don't think I've had enough experience when it comes to relationships. Therefore I refrain from passing any sort of judgment, when it comes to men and a women who chose to be with each other. But I do have a considerable amount of experience of dating a considerable amount of inconsiderate men, which entitles me to define my way of how a perfect date should be. If I feel that my date was a complete waste of time, I rename it to a friendly meeting. I've faced at least at least a dozen of friendly meetings that ended with a handshake, some with a just hug, some with a kiss and some with all the three. But not a single one gave me a sense of fulfillment or the feeling of complete indulgence.

The primary reason I decide to date a man, is to know him better. I wouldn't deny the fact that there is a huge element of physical, emotional or mental attraction involved in it. It is the physical or emotional attraction that propels the urge to know a person better and the reason behind every date. But you don't call every friendly meeting a date. A date is when two persons, who are physically and emotionally attracted to one another, decide to meet with the sole purpose of wanting to know each other better. A perfect date is when two persons ( irrespective of gender) decide to meet anywhere without any purpose, but feel the warmth between each other not necessarily by touch, and at the end of it depart with an enriched mind and a fulfilled heart.

Most dates are like the Deepavali sale you come across at big malls. They come with a conditions apply* tag. You go with the intention of gaining something, but in the end you find that you have shelled out more than what you had planned for, and you always wish the conditions, "no exchange or return" could be reversed. If I dated a man only because of physical attraction, I always lost interest in the first half hour and my attention would sway to a couple of other better looking or even stunning ones seated on the other tables all around me. Sometimes in life we make wrong choices. The best thing about a date is that you don't have to put up with the wrong choice you made for too long. And you could always live with the hope, that the next one would fill the void created by the previous one.

What most of us do during a date is, we begin running a compatibility check. We begin to check if we have similar interests, disinterests, and try to further the chances of meeting again if the compatibility meter showed a high. Measuring compatibility after a single meeting is as absurd as consuming alcohol for taste. It takes a couple of encounters with alcohol, before you decide which drink suits your taste. The experience with the first peg is always bitter. It takes a few bold encounters to get accustomed to the bitterness. Once you are accustomed, you know with which drink you are compatible. Compatibility doesn't occur in the first go. I'd be a complete hypocrite if I would say, I never judge the other person who dates me. I don't run the compatibility check, but behaviors and conversations often lead you into the path of judgment.

I try hard to refrain from judgment of a person's appearance or attire. A few months back, I dated a common friend. We knew each other through a school friend of mine. He texted me a couple of times and we decided to meet. He seemed a nice guy and just when I was considering meeting the man again, an awful thing happened. After the wonderful round of drinks and dinner, when the bill arrived the man insisted that he would pay, unlike the Hazar men who never even offered to dutch, and shamelessly made me pay. He took out his card in style from his wallet and handed it to the waiter. The waiter brought the bills which had to be signed. The waiter had not brought a pen with him, and I immediately got a pen from my bag and gave it to him. He signed the bills and we were still talking while waiting for the final bill. As he was using his hands to talk the man used my pen, to clean the knit in his nails. I made no judgment.

There have been many instances when I have been x- rayed throughout by a person’s eyes, and the only thing  the man carried back was contours of my anatomy, while I had to carry back nothing more than mere disgust. When I say that I've never had a perfect date, it means that I never had anything worthwhile to carry back, besides flowers and chocolates. But yesterday I had an encounter with a near perfect date. The venue was one of the best restaurants in the city. The setting and ambience was perfect, not too flamboyant and not too plain. It was a cozy place. We opted to sit on a couch. Couches give you the feeling of sitting at home, and when you are on a couch, you are forgiven for forgetting your table manners.

The man looked handsome, clean shaven, neatly dressed and as he walked, I could smell a whiff of the Hugo Boss cologne he wore. He was calm, he smiled as he spoke and had many interesting things to say. It seemed as though we hadn’t planned this. We discussed about a lot of books, and even had a minor argument on whether Shobha De was a good writer. The man dropped me back home. We hugged tightly and he made sure he walked with me all the way till the door of my apartment which was on the 7th floor. It was a wonderful evening indeed, but the feeling of fulfillment and completeness was still missing. As I lay on my bed, I began recalling every moment of the evening, starting from our warm hand shake to him dropping me home. Just when everything seemed perfect, I found out the missing link that seemed like a black spot on a flawless mirror. The man had forgotten to say ‘cheers’ before the drink. He had forgotten to toast for our health, wealth and well being. Ah how could he?

Yet another friendly encounter..........